Snow Wave

2011-03-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Defining Hope

2009-01-25T22:56:00.000-08:00

Whom else but this America can wake up suddenly to determine that it is time to change? To change, today. When hundreds of thousands make a pilgrimage to witness the swearing in of our new President, and millions more around the world put everything on hold to tune in, this is clearly a manifestation of human hopefulness. Let it be.

For Pig's Sake!

2009-01-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

No doubt much ado will be made this year about The Simpsons 20 year long run. When the show hit the airwaves in 1989 it was intended as adult prime time entertainment. (That made even more bizarre, the explosion in popularity of children's "Eat my shorts!" t-shirts). Groundbreaking cartoons by Warner Brothers as well as the Rocky & Bullwinkle, and Fractured Fairytales series were also adult shows. Of course they're embedded into the fabric of our childhood memories, aren't they? Such has been true of Anja and her connection to The Simpsons.

How amazing that the relevance and genius of Matt Groenig's expression has endured without having become a fade-away of itself. After all these years Bart, Lisa & Maggie remain children, just as a part of us does each time we settle ourselves on the couch to watch The Simpsons.

The Hallelujah Child

2008-12-24T13:13:00.000-08:00

In pulp fiction you hear cliches like, "time stood still". The moment, perhaps, when the hero recognizes a twitch in the face of an enemy, reaching for his gun. Or, a moment of love at first site.

One morning last week as I headed out the door for work, Anja asked if she could come with me. (Actually this has become a routine. I crouch down to hug and kiss her, and she begins to whimper. "Pleeeeease? Can I go to work with you?" I want to take her with me, I do.). On this particular morning, after I'd told her that I wanted to bring her with me and just couldn't, she sighed and said, "Well take a picture of us to work with you". I couldn't think of which picture she was referring to...

Anja raced to her bedroom. I looked over at Daddy as if to say, 'Help, I'm going to be late...'

She returned with a small card in her hand. She looked up at me and handed me the card. "Here Mommy, here's a picture of us to take with you."

Time indeed stood still. It was a card I bought in Slovakia with the image of Madonna & child.

For some strange reason...

... the folks at Dreamworks included Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" on the original Shrek soundtrack. One afternoon while listening to Jeff Buckley, his rendition of the song came on. Anja's head popped up.

"Hey! The Hallelujah song!" She wanted to put my headphones on and sing along.

I never thought I'd see the day that a 3 year old would be getting down to Leonard Cohen.

Gruβ vom Krampus... Hope You've Been Good!

2008-12-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

Krampus is an ancient tradition in rural Bavaria, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia and Northern Italy. It's been described by some as the evil alter-ego of Santa and by others as one in the same tradition of Christmas, in it's earliest forms. The version that I heard, while writing an article about Krampus in 2002, was that the tradition's origins were purely Pagan and there were no Santa figures in the parade (Sankt Nikolaus) until the seventeenth or eighteenth centuries.

In the coldest, darkest days of winter, young men would don furs and sprigs of wheat, 50-60 pounds of cow bells on their back and would smear themselves with charcoal. The most flamboyant part of the costume involves large wooden masks, handed down in families for hundreds of years. The masks depicted demonic spirits who would chase down young maidens and give them good lashings with switches... to ensure fertility in the spring, of course! The legend also goes that demons would devour badly behaved children.

When the Romans brought Christianity to the regions, they thought it would be wise to have a delegate of the church round up the savages. These celebrations were, and still are, accompanied by hedonistic behavior and heavy drinking. In the video, above, you'll see a Catholic-like Santa. I have heard that the lesser populated valleys have kept their Krampus a little more traditional. Berchtesgaden and Salzberg are said to have some of the best celebrations.

There seem to be many variations on Krampus throughout Europe: there's Krampuslauf (the Krampus Run parade on December 5th - primary function being to scare children into being good) and the Perchtenlauf (Demon's Run, sometime in early January - for driving out the evil spirits of winter). I'm not sure how Jesus entered the picture. He was born in the spring - nativity scenes on the lawn should include daffodils. I was surprised to learn that St. Nikolaus, patron saint of children, was a Bishop in Asia Minor at about 300 A.D.

I'd recommend Krampus for the toughened traveler. [I read on a blog where a woman consulted her attorney after being chased and whipped by one of the demons. I asked her if she'd considered retaining an attorney prior to joining the Run of the Bulls, too. If you can sue a Krampus, why not a bull?]

Gratitude

2008-12-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite sensations in life involves barreling down a snowy slope in a blinding storm. Thick gloves cover your hands and fingers, your feet are weighted down, your body in Goretex, your head and face wrapped tightly. Your already narrow view is made further surreal through fogged goggles. It becomes essential to rely on the feel of the terrain. You keep your body slack to absorb the shocks and bumps. Initially, you want to fight the elements to stay upright. Allowing yourself to flow with it is actually the better way to go. Allowing gravity and momentum to take you on its ride is one of the purest experiences there are.

Sometimes, lately, the current economic climate reminds me of this experience. The world wrapped around us seems chaotic and yet, keeping an open mind and staying flexible may allow something unexpectedly wonderful to happen ... to have a vestigial part of yourself awaken.

Making your own holiday traditions can be pretty cool. One of mine, although not very social, is to sit in the tub for an entire day. Good beer, my doo-wap albums... this is holiday bliss!

What happens is that, well, nothing happens. You think. And put into perspective. You come out as bright pink as the day you were born. Mentally rejuvenated.

Cliche as it might be, this year I couldn't stop thinking about all I have to be grateful for. Things might be falling down around us, but we're healthy. I've got Anja. We have Barack. I got out of bed on my own two feet today.

Love, and Limbo

2008-10-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

Anja got into Mommy's make-up.

I've cast my vote by Absentee. Now is the waiting game. Limbo. I hope the candidates are kind enough to address our economic situation during this week's debate. It would be nice...

"...Joe Six Pack" and Save Our Speech

2008-10-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

Guess who wins an award for best results of U.S. Vice Presidential debate coaching?

Using phrases like "One thing that Americans [can] do at this time also though is, let's commit ourselves, just everyday American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and...". Joe Six Pack? This is the man I want for a husband. And a neighbor, or as my boss. How about Joe Six Pack the doctor, the skyscraper builder or airline pilot? Eh?

S.O.S.

After 8 years of Bush-isms, an entire generation's grasp of correct English could be lost. Last night's debate was also painful to listen to. "We need to make sure that as individuals, we're takin' personal responsibility through all this. It's not the American people's fault that the economy is hurtin' like it is, but we have an opportunity to learn a heck of a lot of good lessons through this and say 'Never again will we be taken advantage of' ". (How I cringe every time I hear the blanket defense of people who took loans they knew they couldn't afford).

Our children need intelligent, literate Role Models. Lots and lots of them...

Hello? Is there anybody in there?

Can anyone tell me why the candidates are talking about everything under the sun but the elephant in the room? Why is there such a disconnect between what America is currently going through and what the candidates think we want them to address in these debates? The persistence of Jim Lehre and Gwen Ifil has been applaudable, but to no avail. There are three debates left. Someone needs to wake them up. Both candidates must answer the question of how it was possible for today's approved bailout measure to allow for "golden parachutes" in the way of Executive compensations. Or how such a measure managed to dodge relief for those on the brink of foreclosure. That's one giant elephant.

Poised To Steal A Third Election

I've heard something very troubling. This is one article that everyone must read. Hundreds of thousands of registered voters are being systematically, secretively purged from voter registration rolls. Fake ballots are being mailed to absentee voters. People are being directed to the wrong polling places. Please read "Voter Essentials", a short article based on a new report. At first, I dismissed this as rumor. After last night's article on Bill Moyers, and reading several news stories about this, I intend to take it seriously.

VOTER ESSENTIALS

Who Won The Debate?

2008-09-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Two of the scariest economic weeks in our history since The Great Depression have just passed. Colleagues and friends saw their nest eggs plummet before their eyes after having been the responsible ones by saving, planning, working hard...

Our President hasn't the slightest notion what to do. The Bush family could care less. They got theirs. That was the game plan, I believe.

Jim Lehrer, moderator for last night's first debate between John McCain and Barack Obama, was diligent and emphatic that the next President will inherit a desperate economic environment, possibly spelling the worst. Neither candidate's responses were clear or specific enough for me. Suffice to say I can only vote against what has not been working.

This morning I Googled, "Who Won The Debate"- 11,900,000 others wanted to know the same. We're turning to Google to help us decide who won!

On the first debate, here is some good spin:

Analyzing the First Presidential Debate - The Boston Globe (Excellent panel debate,video)

The Mississippi Debate: First Thoughts and Who Won? - Washington Post

Next Thursday 10/2/08 the debate between Joseph Biden and Sarah Palin will take place in St. Louis. This should make for great entertainment. We could use some humor about now.

Salinas, California, 1935. Photographer: Dorothea Lange

Who is Sarah Palin? So far, what I know is that until last year, she'd never traveled outside of North America. Her budget cuts included a measure which bills victims for their own rape kits. She's never had to return to work from maternity, and pump breast milk in her cubicle or the restroom for 6 months. She and her husband have been spending tens of thousands in public funds, unchecked. She said that our national leaders are "sending [our armed forces] out on a mission that is from God". And, while no one wants to touch this (not even Environmentalists), overpopulation is the single largest threat to our existence on earth. Five children?? In spite of all this, she appeals mostly to white women. Could our core values as women be undergoing a historic, divisive split? Sometimes I think I have more in common with women in Sudan than women in Idaho and Alaska.

I expect a lot from women in Leadership. Sadly, Sarah Palin will prove the critics correct; she does not have what it takes to be VP. Not even close. She will create a barrier for women who want the position in years to come. As well as to set the cause of Feminism back at least 100 years.

Five weeks from now I'll be casting my vote for the lives of two women, not one.

Dream-Team Ticket, and Getting Old er...

2008-08-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

I cannot flipping believe it!

For over 20 years I've pined and yearned for Senator Joseph Biden to be our President. Having him as VP has totally changed how I feel about what Obama is capable of. Where Obama lacks diplomacy experience, Biden has sat by the fire with Slobadan Milosevic and warned him to "get it together". Where Obama lacks years, Biden is seasoned, respected on both sides of the isle and is highly effectual. When this team wins the election, we will have a VP that will not only be SEEN, but who will do all that can be done to help us recover and grow again.

My enthusiasm in this election year has been lackluster. Until now. I'm backing Biden and Obama as if our future depended upon it.

Suddenly 40

If ever there was a protocol for what one should be, do, wear, say, or how one should carry themselves when they hit middle age... it's been fashionably, conveniently forgotten. Thank god.

There's a fine line between age-appropriate, and settling. Finding a sweet spot has been key for me. I've tried to keep and rekindle the elements of my life which have always been important, such as creative projects. And even though this is San Francisco, where a 70-something co-worker streaked her hair to match her outfits and her moods, there is something in my head saying, "Mmmm... not me." On the other hand, my 20 year high school reunion made a powerful impression. People of my same age, with similar life experiences, had allowed themselves to manifest into who they believed they should be at their age. I felt puzzled by this and still do. Should I conceal my taste in music, or desire to dance until dawn? Will friends and co-workers silently wonder about me if I don't fall into expected patterns? I don't think I will surprise anyone by concluding that I'm unconcerned.

What I learned as I hovered around my 30th birthday is that there is a time and place for all things. Sometimes we tackle projects with seemingly insurmountable challenges and distractions, and Doom waiting in the wing. Sometimes we have to bounce on our beds. Naked. To blaring Disco, waving a sparkly baton. For the record I've never tried the latter.

On my birthday a few weeks from now I plan to do (South Beach Diet approved) jello shots and crawl from one hoppy urban nightclub to another. My head will throb like heck for days after but I'll forge onward. Flintstone vitamins, jog-walking, turkey bacon, salads, high fibre, espresso with Splenda. Yeah. That's how we roll...

Wonder years; 1971 to be exact

Spielen Schule für Anja!

2008-07-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

Play-school for Anja (at last). She is so happy there! She has many new friends and things to do. She comes home dirty and excited to tell me what she did each day. Daddy participates by being there one day a week, as do the other parents since it's a co-op.

She looks like such a big girl with her school clothes...

Other things Anja can do:

stand on her head,

draw pictures of fossils, friends & family,

peel a hard-boiled egg,

buckle her shoes,

count to 20 in two new languages,

make peanut butter & jelly sandwiches,

take really cool photos, and

play the piano & write her own songs (Daddy transcribes)!

Portrait of Mommy by Anja.

And now, for some completely inappropriate grown-up fun: a series of hysterical sketches at Mediocre Films. Tons of tastelessness. From Tiny Gorgeous Chicken Machine Show, a spoof on Japanese game show culture, to other fav's, there's a lot to groan over. And laugh at. In the privacy of your own home.

"Mother, I'm An Artist."

2008-07-05T11:47:00.000-07:00

A dancing, singing, piano playing gypsy. It's so lovely watching her learn to express herself. She shows her drawing of a poodle, below. "See the eyes?"

First Egg Hunt

2008-06-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

This year Anja really understands holidays and birthdays. She loves making special cards and celebrating. We couldn't wait to shower her with goodies for Easter.

We took her to an egg hunt at The Park Chalet, where Daddy works. About 60 other children turned out. The bigger kids totally dominate the egg hunt, of course. It's survival of the fastest. Wobbling toddlers and their starry eyed parents wander the grounds, cameras blazing; they're lucky to get even a few eggs. I've seen experienced kids pull a home plate slide to steal an egg from right underneath a younger one. It's a frenzy. It gets better after loads of multicolored robins eggs, jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, peeps and Cadbury eggs... washed down with juice. Then the jumping around begins, the rough play, nap-missing and crying. It's a candy holiday. This is the way it is...

Anja's eyes sparkled when the larger- than-life Easter Bunny came across the lawn toward her. It waved and gestured for her to take an egg from it's basket. She reached in without taking her gaze off of it's frozen cartoonish grin. It patted her on the head and turned to another little boy. She stood very close by and followed Bunny on it's rounds to greet all the children.

After the egg hunt, the kids congregated in a low lying grove of trees just off the lawn. Monkeys in their Easter clothes. I was proud that Anja was a good tree climber. Nothing made me happier when I was a kid. The knees of her white pants were green brown. I smiled up at her, carefully making her way from branch to branch.

Later when she dug into her basket with grimy hands, I pretended not to notice. It was a very good day.

One Can't Help But Notice...

2008-02-25T23:16:00.000-08:00

The beauty...

Shall We Dance?

2008-01-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

When Anja came into the world, time stilled itself for a moment. Christmas and New Years and all that comes with the holidays kept a watchful distance while Daddy & I studied her features. Neither email nor phone calls, nor office, nor the hustley-bustley city could squeeze themselves between she and I, if only for a few months.

This holiday season was anything but quiet. Some of it organic, sharing quality time with family, but otherwise pure Christmas machinery, cranked up just for the little one. We had a real Christmas. Anja was thrilled with her tea set and fire truck, her pink piggy bank and bat&ball set.

When our neighbors left on holiday in mid December, they gave us their perfect Christmas tree. It was the first time I've had a tree in my house since I was a child. A tree in my house, I kept thinking. I have a tree. In my house. Very Pagan - celebrating a thriving green tree during the shortest days of winter - promise of a fertile future. So how odd to cut and drag the tree indoors... Nonetheless it smelled so sweet. At night when everyone had gone to bed, with the house dark except for the shimmering colored tree lights, it was magical. Weeks later when the crispy tree was ready to be taken outside, I carefully pried the ornaments from its branches one by one. "No!" Anja cried, "Don't take my Christmas!"

The 3's arrived almost overnight. Anja's legs have shed the tootsie-roll look. Chipmunk cheeks nearly gone. She isn't shy about telling me that "dinner is funky" or to be careful not to bump into her [imaginary] cousins Jake & Bajo, both 3 years old. She means to hold up 3 fingers, but rather, shows you the sign language symbol for 'I love you'. Often mistaken for identifying herself as a MetalHead. That's alright. The finger business is a lot harder than it looks, you know. As Anja grows, so does her love of expressing herself. For us there is nothing as joyful as watching her.

Top: Anja at the beach Christmas day, Middle: Auntie Diana gets a snuggle, Above: (clockwise) Cousin Riley-Roo, Uncle Brian, Auntie Shawneen, Birthday Girl & Devyn

Just when you thought it was safe...

2007-11-09T12:26:00.001-08:00

You can't say a day goes by without our appreciation of what we have here. Had.

This evening I read, "A preliminary investigation found human error caused a cargo ship to crash into the Bay Bridge, leading to San Francisco Bay's worst oil spill in nearly two decades, the U.S. Coast Guard said Saturday as rescue teams raced to save hundreds of seabirds."

News flash.

The oil that was spilled into the water at The Bay Bridge is particularly heavy, and quite toxic. While according to most reports, 58,000 gallons of bunker oil reprents 'a small spill', tell that to sea birds, local schools of dolphin, fish and the ecosystem at the bottom of the bay.

The stench of the shoreline is flamable. Our Baker Beach and a number of others are closed while contaminated sand and rocks are meticulously bagged up. I wonder how long it will be. By some estimates it may take weeks to months or longer to make these areas safe again.

One bright spot in all of this: the thousands of bay area residents who have been jamming the phone lines to volunteer. If one thing can be said of San Franciscans, they will turn out to help and will keep turning out as long as it takes.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T10:16:00.000-07:00

This clip was taken from Halloween eve 2006. It was Anja's first opportunity to celebrate and she knew it was a special night. Daddy taught her the "Trick or Treat - Smell my Feet" song. We went from house to house, stopping every couple of feet to pull the hood back from her eyes. Proud Mommy spent a weee bit too much making this suit. Faux mink is considerably softer than that Oscar the Grouch stuff; you can bet I didn't tell Daddy what I spent...

Tonight we are taking her Trick or Treating together. I might teach her the other half of the "Trick or Treat" song. (Kidding!) It's going to be fun!!

Halloween in the Castro is reportedly history after last year's incident. Let Castro have itself back for the evening, really. Here's a happier example of how we like to do our thing on the holiday.

Love to everyone ... and, sorry for 'leaving my posts' for SIX months!

By the way, not to worry after last night's earthquake. When the big one hits, we're ready and sitting high above sea level.

There's Something In The Air

2007-10-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

Time out.

Time for remembering.

How much we've all grown...

Summer and Spring arrived a few weeks ago. It's splendid. Schools of dolphin are leaping out of the bay. It's very much Autumn, too.

When a giant yellow moon rose over San Francisco Friday evening, swarms of costumed partiers filled the streets. Some bloody & gory, some cutesier, some slutty ... (speculation on how Halloween has come to be the holiday of public lingerie - and mostly men sporting it - is well worn. [Pun unforeseen]). Again as we say in this city, just give us an excuse. Any will do.

Time for discovering the sensation of your kite on the breeze. And for budding imagination...

Milestones are flying by. Anja counts to 20, up to 15 in Spanish and backwards from 5. She quietly decided it was time to start using her potty and empties it herself. Sometimes she gets it in the toilet. Our washing machine and bathtub are getting lots of action. We're as tired as we've ever been. And yet she's the one that keeps a skip in our steps.

Although who cares, we've finally MySpace'd! Just in time to be left in the dust by Facebook.

* Some archived videos may not play from Blogger due to new privacy restrictions I've placed on my YouTube account. All videos can be viewed by going directly to:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tahoeshgrl

Glimpse

2007-04-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

Playtime with Anja is so much fun for us too...

Dog owners love the reception they get every time they come home. It can make it all go away after a day at work. Well, being mauled by a licking toddler-kitty is possibly better than that. (Is that her perception - that kitties lick and maul? Don't worry; I wouldn't burst her bubble on the real world of cat motives).

Here's a re-run of an old video: Anja diaper dancing. I notice that this one has been popular. You don't realize how much they grow until one day, an image strikes you. Watching her here only confirms to me that you are basically born being who you are. Factor in a circumstance or two, but I think that our personalities are born with us.

Anja was born to boogie.

Monkey in Our Midst

2007-03-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

I tip-toe across the wood floor in the morning so Anja will sleep as I get ready for work. Somehow, she knows. I'll be nearly home free and one of the cats will tear through the apartment, knocking a small pile of mail onto the floor.

Swooosh...

"Ooh it's Mommy!" If I leave her, she'll raise h-e-doublehockysticks. If I fetch her, she'll stand up on the toilet seat so we can be eye to eye. She will dump my make-up bag upside down. Or take the ironed clothes I've laid out, drag them across the floor and put them on.

This morning I was certain she was sleeping when I went into the bathroom. I cleaned the cat box half-asleep, scrubbed the toilet and got into the shower. Don't ask why I do dirty jobs in the morning. I just do. Minutes later I heard the bathroom door. Anja. I peeked around the curtain to find her holding the toilet brush by the wrong end. [Duck head back behind curtain. Silent scream. A toilet flushing. My shower water is nuking me]. Anja clapped, jumping up & down, "Yeah!! I flushed the toiled all by myself!"

Yes you did. All by yourself.

I've always had time management issues. People like me get a one-two when they become parents. While finishing getting ready and dwelling on complications, I realized that Anja was standing in a doorway watching me quietly. Her upper lip curled. Long streaks of tears fell across her beautiful cheeks from pained eyes. "You going to work Mommy?"

Thank god for Daddy. If I'd been whisking her off to daycare, I'm not sure I'd have been able. Daddy crawled out of bed and took the baby in his arms. I hugged them both and off I went.

*****

Unrelated: check out a rather wonderful twist of old-tyme on a new thing!

Independent Days

2007-03-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

While acquaintances extend sympathy for all the "terrible" difficulties of late, they don't see the entire picture. There are tiny diamonds in the rough. When Anja returns the unconditional affection she's learned and attempts to communicate her love for us, we're on air. Even when she's pouting, saying "dat's mine" and "nooo, I don't want to eat that...", this shows that her little brain is growing. Having a difficult human being in our daily lives is a part of 'Family'. She is our family, though challenging, tiring and equally, loving. This is what gets us through with smiles on our faces.

Before Anja we had strong relationships with our family of friends. We don't see them much, very unfortunately. What has blown us away in recent months is how Anja, entirely on her own, has developed a circle of friends from 18 mos to 65+.

A few weeks ago, we were bopping around the Sunset district. (Her friend & sitter Sandra takes her all over town where she meets people). Everyone knew Anja and called her by name! The folks at Yummy House, the coffee baristas across the street and even passers-by stopped to greet her. Amazing. Here's a glipse of what Snowbebe, who isn't bebe anymore, has been up to...

Above: Hailey, age 4

Left: Sandra

Right: Lunch with Sean at the Park Chalet

Bottom: Off to the beach with Daddy

Anja Eats the House

2006-12-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

Another peek into Anja's Christmas world. More before too long...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Joyeux

2006-12-25T22:54:00.000-08:00

Watching our baby opening her gifts this morning was amazing ... I don't know who was most excited! Enjoy a little for yourself.

The day was wonderful. We spent a family day together, exchanging a few gifts, playing and getting ready for Christmas dinner. Friends came and went throughout the day, including a few surprise visits. Some of the party took Anja for a stroll to the beach for castle-building, gymnastics and football. She was very happy. And she held up well without her nap, but an early bedtime seemed in order. As I held Anja while she drifted off, another friend arrived. When she heard voices, her eyes shot open. "Friends! Let's go say Hello! Come on Mommy..." She jumped up and out to see who was here. She was delighted to be clinking sippy-cup to glasses once more, each time saying, "Cheers!". We are so fortunate to have her.

We are also fortunate to have you... Merry Christmas. We hope yours was beautiful.

Oh Christmas Eve...

2006-12-24T16:41:00.000-08:00

Before I go on, I owe everyone a Halloween video. The idea was to make a skunk out of my Stinky. (Mommy sewed her *** off, right up to twilight on Halloween. I was out of time to attach the silky white stripes for a real skunk - however, as you'll see, it's big enough for next year. She thought she was a bear and seemed excited nonetheless).

12.20.06, portrait by Daddy

So here we are, second year at the beach. As Anja lay sleeping at naptime I took a moment on the porch to listen to waves crashing. And to ponder Christmas, tomorrow. Barry said he thought we had another year before having to "turn on the whole Christmas machine" for Anja. Perhaps by yesterday's children that would have been so. Anja knows what is all around her.

This morning she jumped out of bed and came stumbling across Rick and I (who were still sleeping) exclaiming, "Come on, Mommy! Come on, Daddy!!". She disappeared into another room. Quiet. Quiet is always followed by unpleasant discoveries for us. She came back with a large gift in her arms, wrapped in red and topped with bows. I had just closed my eyes again and, "PWEH-SENTS for ANJA!! ... Open, open! Oooh look!! ..." (and so forth). "That's for tomorrow Anja," said Daddy and she was clearly disappointed from the look on her face. At the same time it only built up our anticipation of watching her tear into her gifts tomorrow. What a memorable day it will be for her!

I have to cut this short... I'm busily getting last minute Christmas machinery going for a beautiful and very charming young girl.

Merry Christmas with love to you all!!!

Give It Up!

Props to the up & coming Artist that is my 13 year old nephew Corey Higgins. View a few of his works and return from time to time. Prepare to be astounded.

Another Artist, whose works evaporate before art dealers can swindle him out of them is Albert Reyes, aka "Spit Artist".

Hello? Is there anybody in there?

2006-12-02T00:46:00.000-08:00

[We're back! And yes, we were down. We can't upload photos now, but hopefully we will be back on the horse again soon. Luckily, Sandra (Anja's Saturday caregiver) took lots of photos one recent sunny afternoon on a walk. Enjoy them... ]

In life, months might not seem significant for adults. Now we understand why parents address their children by age in months. In weeks, days even, everything can change. One year ago, Anja began using sign-language. This so empowered and excited her that her ability to express herself has been snow-balling ever since. Her facial gestures are wild. Today she stopped bouncing on my bed and said, "Watch this Mama...". She blinked one eye at me. A few weeks ago while getting her diaper changed at daycare, she looked at the smiling young Russian woman and asked, "Are you tired?". Anja asks lots of questions now. "What happened?!", "What are you doing?", "Can I help?" and "Do you hear that?". One day while rewinding a video for her (with the images trailing backwards), she started laughing. "Oh-my-gawd-look that's funny!!"

Sometimes I wonder what her earliest memories will be. I wonder if she'll remember the mornings that we play together with sun streaming through the windows. Or beach days with Daddy, filling his shirt with rocks, being carried home on his shoulders. From all signs, her memory is impressive (children should be rocket scientists). Someday we'll get to find that out.

Here's Anja...

Summer Comes Late...

2006-10-12T01:34:00.000-07:00

Technical Difficulties and Crackers in Bed

2006-09-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

One loyal following Anja has! Lucky girl. Everyone let me know that there were problems with the embedded videos lately. I'd changed Anja's YouTube videos from public to private. YouTube has become wildly popular and I wanted to keep the videos for family/friend viewings. Somehow I didn't make the connection that it would affect these videos. I love parusing the Brag with ready-videos as much as you. Enjoy.

See what happened this afternoon when Mommy took her watch off of Anja just long enough. (It was a rosy ring around the tub, I'll say).

This morning after I left for work, Daddy was asked if he would read to her. "Reeeeead? Pweeeeeze??" she'll say shoving the book toward you. Into bed they snuggled where Daddy read her book after book after book. The warm bed and serene pictures had Dad snoozing in no time. But Anja wasn't done reading. She thought it would be nice to get into the cabinets, fetch some crackers and wiggle back into bed with her books. Who knows how much time passed, but when Daddy woke up they were both covered in crackers. This is the version of the story I heard.

Technically speaking...

In case you hadn't ever heard me dreaming aloud, someday I want to homestead in the mediterranean with one cow, one goat and a large windmill. Low tech, better yet no tech, is great by me! Don't get me wrong; I love cities with their forests of buildings, and the action. Yes. There isn't generally much action where you can own a cow, but that's why you hop a train to Istanbul or flight to Spain or (...I think the dishes are calling). Until then, did anyone catch Project last night?? I taped it in case you missed!

Zen Lunch

2006-09-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Better than watching a tank full of exotic fish swimming about.

Streams of Light

2006-09-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

Last week was fun. New teeth arriving. However a few mornings ago, after many rocky days & nights, Anja woke up in a fabulous mood. "Hello!" she called from her crib for one of us to come get her. Not only was she laughing, playing and being deliberately funny, but she woke up... smarter than the day before.

I'm not making this up! Anja was speaking sentences, with a plethora of new words to boot. Obscure words.

Watching her from day to day is living with constant surprises. This is good for a person. Toddlers don't get into ruts or boring routines. They are always moving forward, "on the verge", and you can't help but go with them.

Victim of the Project

Project Runway is feeding my addiction. One closet fashion victim who has nearly deprived herself of TV for a decade falls RIGHT off the wagon. It was inevitable.

Now that my admission has been published, can anyone tell me why it's impossible to stop watching? I'm not the only one. Will it be Michael? Or Laura (yeah Laura!)?? I have to go now. I'm sure there's a re-run I'm missing...

Portable Recording Devices: Adventures in Learning

2006-08-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

People always remark at what an interesting vocabulary Anja has for her age. If she takes a liking to you she'll tell you everything she knows. Anja can name just about every object around her. Some of these things we taught her and others, she sort of picked up. Children seem to learn by osmosis.

"d'Oven!", Anja will say while pointing to the oven. "d'Computer!", "d'stroller!", "my tights!!". She'll repeat anything you teach her... Even if you didn't know you were teaching.

One afternoon d'Mamma & d'Daddy were having a conversation in the car. Anja felt inclined to join our conversation, with her words in context. Daddy & I looked at one another, then back at our baby. She's learned not only how to speak, but how people speak to one another. Yeah. No telling when or how, but we're being recorded.

I hear that there's a chip (a CHIP) you can have implanted in your child. So you don't lose them! Digital babies... how about it.

The learning process is incredible to watch. Sometimes you laugh, and sometimes you wince... or both. Check out this darling potty-mouth.

What direction will Anja take? What will she be when she's grown? A mother wonders. It's good to know that my little girl will have strong roll models to look up to!

(above) Banana-Girl and I went shopping for winter socks. The simplest days can be so lovely with Anja Lyric Snow.

For Cats About To Flush, We Salute You

2006-08-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

Years ago I went to a party at the home of my Costumer friend Heather. [She was from Ohio, but Hollywood had transformed her. She'd eat salad & 'GimmeLean' veggie sausage for breakfast before her yoga classes. We'd have cradle-robbing double dates, and help out the straight guys at Burning Man with her vast costume collection... ]

On the night of this party I wobbled into the bathroom and discovered Eartha using the toilet, startling her. That made two of us. The pure-bred with sparse hair and large eyes beared more resemblance to coy fish than kitten. My amazement was short lived when I realized that Eartha couldn't flush for herself. I later taught my own cats to use the toilet. But... no flush! What can you expect? And so it was back to the box.

Today I have witnessed cat evolution: "Gizmo Flushes". (You know you weren't getting anything done at work anyway).

Anja is a real little girl now. Nineteen months and thousands of images later, she's starting to understand the whole camera game. Smile!!

Blue Two's

2006-08-04T20:14:00.000-07:00

They have arrived. A little early. Our giggley, jiggley Snowbebe isn't herself lately.

Typical mornings used to go like this - baby calls "Wick!" [Rick] or "Momma!" from her crib, one of us fetches baby, brings her to bed for cuddling. Rick eventually gets up to make cappuccinos and breakfast. Singing, dancing with Anja to Sesame Street followed by an outing...
Sounds lovely, and it was.

This morning - waking, crying loudly. Is she in pain? No, just frustrated about everything and nothing. Being prevented from climbling a glass shelf causes a meltdown. She eats two bites of oatmeal from a spoon but decides it feels great if she puts her hands in the bowl. Even better smearing it on her face and into her hair! Baby goes into tub. Baby poops in tub. Newly clean baby eats 'washable' blue crayon and gets it eeeeeverywhere. Clean the baby. More meltdowns, not sure why. Anja goes into crib for nap but an hour later she's wide awake. She has removed her diaper, wet in her crib, no wonder she can't sleep. Lie baby down with bottle on couch, clean up her crib. Baby spits up milk and breakfast sausage, plays with it a bit, and...
Fast-forward to 6:30pm, still trying to get Anja to take a nap.

Finally she rests. The little girl who calls to me when she wakes looks so sweet. I pick her up and she puts her head on my shoulder, patting my back with her hand. "Hug me" she says. I hug and kiss her which makes her laugh. She tickles the cat and sings a song I haven't heard before. Oh my. I guess we'll get through it.

Coincidental photos: 5 mos and 18 mos.

Dancing With Myself

Anja loves the harmonica Daddy gave her. She gets a sparky expression and dances involuntarily. A rocker. We knew it.

Watch Part 1 & Part 2 of some Escheresque fun.

Time for Summer

2006-07-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

A few months back, I was having a (sober) conversation about the relativity of Time with a friend's father. Okay, one of us was sober. We didn't agree on all points, but did agree that time appears to be speeding up as you get older. Real or imagined? I pressed that it's perception. He insisted that it's a physical reality. "What is the longest year that you can remember?" he asked. "The summer before I started Kindergarten?" I said. "See?" he replied.

I'm not a Physicist. Not even close. Could that be possible? Sometimes it feels that way. "Dad", my friend said placing a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him toward the door. "I'm sorry. He does this every time". It was good conversation and I continue to revisit this idea...

[Now, what has any of this got to do with ANJA and her brag-blog? Nothing that doesn't tie back into the bebe somehow, right? Relevance, relevance!] After my reunion, a milestone "real or imagined", the grey hairs have quadrupled. For Anja, time must be moving very slowly. When I was a child, I couldn't wait to grow up. I thought it would take forever and by golly it did.

I hope her summer is long and full of happy memories. Time does seem to stop when we're on the beach together.

From Where We Have Come, Part II

2006-06-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

Nana & Papa came for a quintessentially San Francisco visit. We had a twilight BBQ on the beach next to the glowing Golden Gate Bridge. Anja had her first smore. And a second... and another. Someone once said wisely that Grandparents and Grandchildren are natural allies. Nana apparently taught Anja "Are You Sleeping Brother John". She hasn't stopped singing Ding-Dong-Ding-Dong since.

If ever you crave surrealism, attend your 20 year High School reunion. One saintly person organized our entire reunion and, in her attempt to remember hundreds of details, she forgot the name tags with our 1986 grad photos (mine above). The reunion took place during a heat wave which made a bewildering game of "Do I know you?" even more fun. My short-term memory is embarrassing. My long-term, however, is sharp. I remember everyone. I remember most people's parents & siblings, details about them and conversations going back 30 years. I should have been a country doc... Remembering something, occasionally mistaken for 'knowing' something, that no one else does can make a person crazy. Many people at my reunion didn't remember me. Wasn't there an episode of The Twilight Zone where someone was trying to convince everyone that they knew him? Maybe I'm the only one who saw it...

What's New PussyCat?

One of the joys of parenting is exploiting your baby for cute little tricks to show others. Every baby has a song or a dance. This started out as Anja's diaper changing song, but one day she started singing along! (Click here for the vid, cuteness factor of 12.5 )

I leave you with Daddy and his pet

As peaceful as pre-Terrible Two's get

From Where We Have Come

2006-06-09T16:08:00.000-07:00

My parents spent an enormous sum for a computer in 1983. They thought that it would be a good idea. It was a Microsoft PC Junior. Capable of moving words, producing BioRhythms, doing loan amortization... not much more. They stopped making software for it shortly thereafter. My parents were livid. I took the computer to college and a room mate stole the computer for money to buy drugs. A small insurance settlement was the best possible outcome, believe me.

In '95, the World Wide Web was news. Some predicted that the Info Super Highway would look like a dirt road in 10 years, to describe the momentum. We bought a $3,000 system with one gig ("Did you say giggle-byte??" I asked the Gateway salesperson). I taught myself HTML and jumped into the pool.

Looking back, I'm so grateful that vast information is available to the masses. If something newsworthy happens in the most remote places of our planet, it's published. It feels like the best Democratic tool that has ever been.

People You'd Never Meet Otherwise

Here are a few places I love. Merely finding them is a positive product of our Information Age. There is so much brilliance! A lot of bull**** too. ...Democracy.

The Woodring Monitor (Right: "Drowned Man's Colors" by Jim Woodring)
Zefrank.com (especially this page)
Improv Everywhere
Kyd Charlemagne (phenomenal travel photos, I'm in "Slovakia")

A Creative Source...

...should be kept guarded. So I've heard. My caution is to the wind. This has been one of my greatest sources of inspiration since I discovered it accidentally on a radio dial in Europe. Much more than music, which you can stream into your home - FM4, Vienna (Part English, part German language).

A Simple Salute

2006-06-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Daddy made me promise that I wouldn't do anything 'silly for Father's Day' this year. Since it isn't Father's Day, I can keep my promise can't I.

A partner is one who leaves a trail of thier snacks all over the house. Toothpaste in the sink. Your mate is the one who watches Sports Center. A lot.

And yet that same person can be a gifted parent, with an astonishing sense of detail. You only need look at the child to see how happy they are. I know someone like this...

He feels all of Bebe's little pains. He makes up strings of ridiculous nicknames for her and songs to go with them. Today he put every item of clothing on that she brought him from the laundry pile. When I walked in, she had a bright green bathing suit with striped knit tights pulled over the top of them. Silly Bebe. Silly Daddy.

Happy early Father's Day.

BabyDance 2006

2006-05-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Quite simply, babies love to dance! And disco is universally infectious, I don't care what anyone says. Without further ado...

Mother's Day, Our Way

2006-05-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Some say that holidays are Hallmark creations designed to spur business. Whatever the origins, I think it's fair to say that celebrations have a way of becoming our own in time. What began as Pagan rituals performed to ensure the return of Spring have become modern day Christmas. Which, by the way, I don't consider an evolution for the better - from dancing in furs around a fire, blackened with charcoal to circling parking lots for half an hour looking for a space...

Anja and I started a Mother's Day tradition for our first. I put my chubby cheeked baby into her buggy and off we went, dressed to the nines. It started to rain so we dipped into some of the stores in Union Square and started shopping (I'm not a shopper, but it was a day to treat ourselves). Anja got some little summer things, and Mommy, new shoes. I gave myself a make-over at MAC while the counter-ladies played with Bebe.

We ended our beautiful outting at the top of Macy's with a late lunch. I had a large rare steak and a dirty Martini. We smiled at one another. It was one of the best days that I can remember. After that, we buggied up and down the hills of downtown toward home.

This year, we decided to do it again. We dressed up like China dolls. When I did my hair, Anja wanted to do hers. When I put on my make-up, she wanted to sit in front of the mirror and do the same. We went downtown to soak up the sights, sounds and share the hot afternoon with all of the other Mothers with their families. Anja got some new books, a pair of sunglasses that she picked out herself and a nice big straw hat. We had a great time and saw many, many things. By days' end, my little baby was slumped in her stroller, no doubt dreaming of ChinaTown and all of the wonderful people who we had met. [Click here for a short video clip of us on Mother's Day]

Other Ways of Saying "I love you Mom!"

From Sons, with Love

Mother's Day on Acid

Is that Mick or Nadia?

2006-04-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

In case no one had noticed, we start 'em young these days at learning, playing and even competing. I wonder if pre-preschools, Baby Einstein or private coaches are giving children a better edge than they had with The Electric Company. Hey, look at us! Yeah. Um. So! Anja became a gymnast today. Can you believe it? I couldn't actually find her in the gym. I just kept seeing a streak where she had been, and Daddy trailing after her. She ran acrossed the multicolored mats, jumped on the trampoline, crawled up the wide kiddy vault and launched face first into a massive landing pad. Her best event turned out to be a gated off play area with a pretend kitchen and Legos. Okay!

Cats Gone Wild

Have the kids been safely tucked in bed? I've traded in the cute cat sites for something ... more grown up. Really, go check on the snuggle-bums and then race over to Live Nude Cats.

Fruehlings Gefuehle

2006-04-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

"Spring of feelings", to borrow a phrase from a friend... Why does Spring make us feel so much? For some, a feeling of literally being tumbled up, down and around in a washing machine of emotions.

Our first sonogram confirmed that Anja was conceived on April Fools day. Around the first week of May, I remember jumping out of my bed loft, throwing on a skirt and running to the Embarcadero Farmer's Market. I bought a handful of large yellow sunflowers and some blown glass jewelry for my Mother. Very suddenly overcome with fierce hunger, I needed something right then. I stood in front of Noah's Bagels. Dark smoke billowed out of the front door as an employee jabbed the toaster for a fiery bagel. The world started to spin beneath me and I had to grab a post to keep from going down - "What the he**??" Everything looked and smelled surreal to me that morning. One week later, my closet contained a new wardrobe, my fridge full of prune juice and figs.

Today we joined friends for an Easter brunch. Smells from the kitchen thickened the air with eggs, sausage, toasting bagels and fresh fruit. Everyone delighted in Anja, and she delighted right back. The company spanned 16 mos to 93 years. We're newer members of "the family" ... I love gatherings at this home. Everyone has long, wiry hair and full eyebrows. Beautiful aging artists, intellectuals, subversives. Thinkers. Their humorous scenicism rejuvenates me. As brunch winds down, the ball game is turned on and the Eastern accents in the room come out. It is agreed that we'll meet up for a game of stickball next week. I can just see it - Converse hightops, flasks and the odd array of household "bats". It's good to know that at 60 something, perhaps beyond, I'll still be overcome with spring fever.

(Photo by Gabriel Biderman - taken with a pinhole camera mounted on a bicycle, Amsterdam 2003... This photo won many awards!)

Froth

2006-04-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's still raining. Time for another Cappucino. Since Anja was tiny, Daddy would dip a finger into his large Cappucino mug and give her the white foam. "Make sure you don't slip her the espresso" says Mommy-the-broken-record. Sometimes she would wind up looking like Burl Ives.

Lately Anja wants the whole mug. Rick gives her the last drops of froth and cocoa that has settled to the bottom. She carries off the mug, sits down and drinks with the cup nearly covering her head. She throws her head back and her feet come off the ground. So now she's The Joker with a wide brown grin.

I hear that some people let their children have coffee. What do you think about that?

Who Knows Where The Time Goes

Outside of Anja, our Odyssey, we have our things. Rick is making a work of art out of a 1980 MGB. I've been mixing & recording (learning) and working on literary projects. This year we're supposed to attend our 20 year High School reunions. Rick has ruled his out. I go back and forth ... Everyone will want to exchange business cards and compare success stories. My successes have certainly been unconventional. The dream reunion to me is a large party in the fig orchards or in an old barn in the country, with kegs and a bar, a live DJ and casually being ourselves. We'd be hard pressed to find a grove large enough to conceal a party these days. Hmmm, to go or not to go ...

20 years is a really long time. And then again, it isn't. When I see recent photographs of my peers, who I remember with braces and lop-sided wedge cuts, I feel like I'm looking at complete strangers. Yet, there is something wholly familiar in the eyes. It is a cruel trick upon your senses. How will we look to them? (In another 20 years we'll be grateful to have all of our teeth - that does it, I'm going).

Lovely Weather

2006-03-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

...if you're a fish. During my first year in San Francisco friends said, "Here comes the rainy season", but a rainy season never arrived. It started raining months ago. The forecast here at Baker Beach has been consistent. When the rain does let up you feel like leaping through the Poppies, as if on acid, and running to the beach. People in San Francisco get so excited that they come to Baker Beach and loose the clothing. It's a mixture of delusion (not freezing = warm enough) and optimism. And, a local custom of using any opportunity to get naked. I stay on the clothed side of the beach now; it's where Die Junge Kinder converge.

Ha.

Anja and I are feeling cooped up. I wish she could play poker, but for now we play an exciting game called "Boo!". She crouches down behind something, waits for you to call out "Anja? Aaaaanja?? Where could she be?" and then BOO!! ... You are supposed to be terrified and surprised. This makes her laugh out loud, snorting involuntarily. We play this game, or I'm on all fours doing whatever it is she wants.

Grown ups are busy. Too busy. In spite of the never ending To-Do's, babies have a way of making us put it all on hold. My house is filthy. Every time I try to clean, Anja locks her little body around my legs, sticking her head between my knees. "Boo!" she says...

Like the rain, you have to accept some things as they are. My second Mother tells me the beautiful thing about house cleaning is that it waits for you. Anja, however, won't. She is growing rapidly. She'll only be our baby once, begging to be picked up and carried. Someday she'll look at us with music blaring through headphones, our lips moving silently. Ach, the thought of this compels me to put down the house cleaning for another day.

When she wakes from her nap, I think I'm going to bundle her up and take her to the beach. We're going to get wet.

Stinky

2006-03-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

2 months old.

2006-03-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

...Today our 'zoo-pah-model' was dancing around, being generally lovely.

2006-03-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

This was one of the last times our little baby was... little. What a good baby she was, and still is. Of course now she is a full blown toddler with all that it brings.

2006-03-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

Wilkommen! Remember when a Blogg was a character from Dr.Seuss? This is just what you think it is. Brag.

Brag-brag-brag. Blogg-blogg-blogg. Let the Blogging begin!